Bad news my friends, I had to disown my children.
Yep, all 4 of em.
We were talking about favorite foods the other day and I was telling them how I lived off pimento cheese sandwiches when I was little. None of them had ever had pimento cheese! I said,” Hold up, are you serious?” How was it possible that I’d never made them Grandma Fat’s pimento cheese spread? Well turns out I’d missed my window to introduce them to this delight. None of them were particularly whoopy over it. Gosh darnit, I waited too long!
(Some things you’ve got to get your kids started on young! Like knowing the difference between mayo and Miracle Whip and when each of them are necessary. Start that young. Don’t let your kid be the one old enough to drive themselves to a high school banquet going, “Wait! What? I thought mayo and Miracle Whip were the same thing.”)
Well anyway, no worries. I didn’t kick them out of the house or anything. I just pretend sobbed and told them to go back to their silly minecraft youtube videos and stuffed my face with baguette topped with pimento cheese. Until they hit the stairs. Then I canned the fake sobs, smiled to myself at the peace and quiet, enjoying all the nostalgia that comes with indulging in your favorite childhood snack.
Here’s a true story about pimento cheese. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized that 99% of the world’s pimento cheese is made with shredded cheese. Grandma Fat’s isn’t. First time I saw someone else’s pimento cheese I was like what the heck is that? That is not the pimento cheese I’m used to. First time I took my version of pimento cheese somewhere they were like, what is that? That is not the pimento cheese I am used to. We made converts of each other and spread the pimento cheese love around. Because people who love pimento cheese are the best kind of people.
There is no wrong way to pimento your cheese. Don’t you let anyone tell you different. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
This pimento cheese spread is just that. A spread. It is smooth and velvety and spreadable. It has all the tang and flavor that you’d anticipate with a traditional pimento cheese, just a bit of a different texture. Personally I prefer it over the shredded variety. It’s great as a sandwich spread, on crackers, with veggies to dip in it, stuffed into mini peppers, topping off cheeseburgers.., the possibilities are endless. Remember, there’s no wrong way to pimento your cheese.
Pimento Cheese Spread
This old fashioned pimento cheese spread is quick and easy, smooth and velvety.
- 2 large eggs
- 2 Tablespoons sugar
- 1/4 cup white vinegar
- 1 pound velveeta , cut into small cubes
- 1 4 oz jar diced pimentos , drained
- In a small saucepan, beat the eggs with a whisk. Add in the sugar and vinegar mixing well. Over medium heat, stirring constantly, cook the egg mixture until it thickens, about 5-7 minutes.
- Meanwhile place the cubed velveeta into microwave safe bowl. Heat in the microwave until melted and smooth, about 5-7 minutes set at 50% power.
- Mix together the melted velveeta and the egg mixture.
- Stir in one jar of drained pimentos.
- Place in the fridge. The cheese spread will thicken as it cools.
- Let cool completely before serving.